yeba!

NO SUCH THING AS FOREVER
by julie

there's no such thing as forever.

romantics would surely turn up their nose whenever they hear this phrase. but i've been told over and over again that there is no such thing as forever, for the only thing in the world that is constant is change. quite comforting to think that bad things will change, and good things will, too.

there's no such thing as forever.

ever had that feeling for someone, the kind that makes you go nuts missing him? i did. and i thought that that feeling meant that i would love that person, forever. that nothing will change. that we were surely meant to be together for eternity.

i did have that feeling, but i did lose it.

the feeling was replaced by hate. AWESOME HATE.

i wanted him dead. dead for hurting me, dead for leaving me alone, dead for making me believe that he loved me as much i loved him. i hated him so much, that i began to hate everybody else. of course, without their knowing it. actually, the scariest part is when i began to hate myself. for falling so hard, and landing on the rough earth. i hated myself for losing. i hated myself for loving.

there's no such thing as forever.

yes, there's no such thing as forever. because just when i tried to end my hatred for myself drastically, something better came along. my hatred was slowly being eaten away by understanding, by patience, and by a purpose. a purpose in life which had escaped me when i devoted myself to one person. and that purpose was to live my life my way, my terms.

i was to live my life loving in the most selfless way possible.

so i tried to let go of my hatred. most of my days became happy, because i was loving people with a smile and without regret. but i have to admit that i still feel that annoyance, that irritation with that person who made my life such a mess before. but i don't bother to let him know anymore. there would be no point in arguing with someone whose eyes are on someone else.

there is such a thing as forever.

i guess there is. i thought i was doomed to be miserable forever, but guess what: i'm not. because i found the right love at the right time with God.

the only THING that is forever.