It's over. He's gone.

    However, there are still questions left unanswered, words left unsaid, letters left unread, poems left undone, songs left unsung, love left unexpressed and promises left unfulfilled.

    When someone bids goodbye, why do we have to cry? Why suffer? Why do we have to meet only to lose at the end?

    In a relationship, one of the hardest thing is saying goodbye and letting go. It's as hard as a breaking crystal coz you'll never know where and when you'll be able to pick up the pieces again. More often than not, they who go feel not the pain of parting; it is they who stay behind that suffer, being left with memories of a love that was meant to be... that was.

    Unfair as it may seem, love always goes with this drama, the bitter sweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, we can only know how without us knowing why. And we must forget not because we want to... but because we have to.

    In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in a battalion. It's as if everything in this damn universe reminds you of him... it's like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. It's as light as a feather, as soft as newly-made cotton candy, but as loud as a drumbeat. And the worst part of it is that you're the only one who hears it. Funny how the world with billions of people becomes depopulated when only one person is missing.

    I don't know if it's worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills with a considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little acceptance on our part. We must always remember that not all stories end with "and they lived happily ever after..."

    Sometimes, we have to let go because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others, and we have to cry to temporarily let go of the pain. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk; and this is something we have to live up.

    It's over. He's gone. But life has to go on. As a song goes, "Goodbye doesn't mean forever..." There will always be a place and time when questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled. Somewhere... Somehow.. Someday.

    La lang, dati nung binasa ko to eh feeling ko.. 'eh care ko ba jan noh!?'

    Di ko maintindihan kung bakit ngayon, instead of choosing to scan the damn pages, i chose to retype every single *painful* word apong melay had to say (er, write pala) ... actually.. di ako napagod sa kaka-type.. wala eh, alas-tres ng hapon, ang liwa-liwanag, napagtripan ko lang namang magsenti dito.. (wala kasing tao dito sa bahay, hinatid ang kapatid ko sa Pisay...)

    Ang saya.. binabasa ko nga ulit ung logbook... andaming nagreact dito! teka... excerpts lang ha:

    "They are not aware of the irreplaceable gap inside me, the open wound that my heart cannot bring itself to heal. The shock and numbness of spirit is still there. But i try to act out a different role, that of a happy fully-recovered failure..." -Julie (Goddess)

    "I enclosed myself in a shell, yung walang makakapanakit sa kin... Unti-unti na akong nag-oopen up, ngayong medyo nagbalik si Jem. Pero konting isip lang na baka maulit, napapraning ako, ina-isolate ko yung sarili ko..." - Cy (writing as JEM, back then..)

    "...We all go through a phase na sobra tayong nasaktan at natakot na masaktan ulit kaya we tend not to put our hearts out in our hands... i went through that phase too.. until KIM came along... narealize ko kase na that when we hold back, we refuse to be involved with so many things and persons - REFUSAL TO BE INVOLVED is a REFUSAL TO LOVE! kaya di na ako refuse, sarap kaya ng love, noh?!" - Almi (Tikya)

    "RISK ALL TAPOS NO REGRETS!" - Almi

    Ngayon alam ko na kung saan nagsimula yang RISK ALL-RISK ALL TAPOS NO REGRETS na yan! dito pala yan sa art of letting go na si melay ang may sala! hehehehe...

    Benta na rin sa kin to ngayon eh... :)

    So yun.. next page?

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